Does my horse like me...?
DOES MY HORSE LIKE ME?
This question is one that many of us have quietly asked ourselves:
It might sound like a simple question, but the answer lies in layers of equine behavior, emotional nuance, and, most of all, our own willingness to self-reflect and adapt.
HORSES DON’T LIE
The signs can be subtle or obvious. Does your horse walk away when you approach? Pin their ears? Offer you their hindquarters or even threaten to kick? These could be clear messages: “I’m not comfortable with you right now.”
But let’s be fair. Sometimes, these reactions are not because your horse doesn’t like you, but rather because they’ve learned to behave this way based on patterns, discomfort, fear or pain.
ENVIRONMENT MATTERS
Let’s say it’s a beautiful summer day, you head out to the field to catch your horse, and they bolt in the opposite direction. Does that mean they hate you?
Not necessarily.
It might mean they prefer the current environment, the pasture, sunshine, and companionship of the other horses, over the one you’re offering i.e. safety and comfort. This is a value judgment, not a personal rejection.
THE HORSE-HUMAN INTERACTION IS TRAINABLE
Just like we learn to ride and train, horses learn to respond. Whether it's groundwork, catching them in the field, or grooming, every interaction is teaching them something be it good or bad.
So if your horse consistently walks away from you, doesn’t engage in training, or seems emotionally distant, it’s not the end of the world. It’s feedback.
The good news? Everything can be unlearned and re-trained.
HORSES CAN FORGIVE
In my podcast (see link below) I share a heartbreaking yet powerful story about a horse who had been abused, cigarette burns and all. Through time, consistency, and kindness, that horse learned to forgive and trust again. That’s the beauty of horses, they can forgive, and they do learn to love again.
If a horse with such trauma can reconnect with humans, so can yours.
WHEN THEY DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT
If your horse runs from you, it could mean:
- They associate your presence with hard work or discomfort.
- Their “field life” is paradise compared to what you offer when they are not there.
HOW YOUR TRAINING STYLE AFFECTS THE RELATIONSHIP
Imagine tying your horse up, tacking roughly, riding in circles for an hour, then throwing them back into a field. No engagement. No care for their emotional state. If this sounds familiar, your horse may well not like you right now!
Please don’t ignore that, it’s fixable.
Evaluate your riding, your saddle fit, your energy, your training frequency. Even seemingly small things like tacking up with feel or engaging with your horse during feeding can shift the relationship.
HORSES REMEMBER DISCOMFORT
- A too-tight girth.
- A bridle shoved over sensitive ears.
- A brush too hard on the sensitive body parts.
- A never satisfied human.
These are all trainable, and they’re your horse saying: “I don’t like this. Please do better.”
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE PERFECT, JUST AWARE
If you're talking to your horse all the time but not listening, pulling them around, or letting them walk all over you, they might find you confusing or irrelevant.
Even if you think you're being kind, horses respond best to clarity, consistency, and fairness.
YOUR HORSE CAN LOVE YOU AGAIN
I share another story in my podcast (see below) about two stallions which was a lesson on environment, empathy, and the consequences of stubborn human habits. The horses weren’t “bad” - they were trapped in a system that didn’t work for them, and their owners weren’t ready to change.
But you can be.
WHAT TO REMEMBER
- Every horse can be trained to trust and bond with you.
- Every behavior is feedback.
- You must be more interesting, engaging, and emotionally available than the field or the food bucket.
- Everything is trainable, with time, patience, and guidance.
FINAL WORD
If this blog struck a chord, it’s for a reason. Maybe it’s time to shift, grow, and start creating the kind of connection your horse wants to be part of.
You're not alone in this. I am here to support you via the following resources:
🌐 Learn with me at getgoodwithhorsescourses.com
📲 Follow me @getgoodwithhorses on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok.
And remember, if you're ever stuck, unsure, or just need clarity, reach out. I'm here to help.
Thanks for reading and as always, keep getting good with horses. 🐴
🎧 Listen to the related podcast:
