18. They don’t see how it can be...

Many horse owners never truly see what is possible with their horses. Even when the answers are standing right in front of them, they miss the lessons. 

Horses reflect our knowledge, our mindset, and our ability to communicate. Yet too often, people either don’t notice, don’t believe they can, or simply aren’t ready to see another way.

This is something I’ve experienced throughout my horsemanship journey. My late mare was the horse who set me on this path - a journey of self-reflection, discovery, and learning how to not just get good, but to get great. She demanded that of me, and in turn, she opened my eyes to a way of being with horses that I hadn’t seen before.

THE LESSONS WE MISS

Horses are constantly offering us feedback. They show us when something isn’t working, when we’re unclear, or when we need to step up our skills. But many people never recognize those signals. Instead, they keep repeating patterns: pulling on cross ties, applying stronger and stronger leg pressure, or relying on equipment instead of education.

The truth is, when you have to work that hard to get a horse to respond, something is missing in the foundation. The horse isn’t resistant - they’re simply uneducated or confused. But if riders don’t see it, they can’t change it.

WHY PEOPLE DON’T SEE IT

There are many reasons:

• Some genuinely don’t know another way exists.
• Some don’t believe they have the ability to teach it.
• Some are so focused on appearance, tradition, or competition results that they miss the deeper connection.
• And others, perhaps, aren’t ready to face the fact that things could be different.

It’s not always about ignorance; sometimes it’s simply timing. People see things when they are ready.

CREATING THE “WOW”

Over the years, I’ve discovered that creating “wow” moments with horses is what makes people curious enough to ask “how.” When a horse responds willingly, when they stand calmly untied, when they perform advanced movements without force - that is when people begin to notice. Not everyone will, but the right people do.

And yet, even when something magical is happening right in front of them, many still won’t see it. They’ll continue with stronger aids, more equipment, or more resistance, without questioning whether it could be easier.

ACCEPTING WHAT OTHERS DON’T SEE

One of the hardest lessons in horsemanship isn’t about horses at all - it’s about people. You cannot chase others into awareness. 

You cannot make them see. 

Just as horses need to discover answers for themselves through feel and timing, people also need to arrive at their own discoveries.

Some will never see it. 

Some will see it only much later. 

And some will be inspired enough to ask questions and begin their own journey.

A FINAL THOUGHT

If you’re working with your horse in a way that builds trust, softness, and willingness - whether on the ground, under saddle, or in everyday handling - then you are already on the path. Celebrate that.

The struggle is real, but it is also a signal: a signpost pointing you toward new learning. 

Stay open, stay curious, and keep striving to “see it.” Because once you do, you’ll never look at horses - or yourself - the same way again.

Need a hand with your growth or just the little things along the way?

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