They say don't get off - I say rubbish by Zoë Coade

WHY I SAY, “GETTING OFF THE HORSE” IS SOMETIMES THE BEST HORSEMANSHIP DECISION

In this blog we’re diving into a topic that’s been around forever, but it’s high time we challenge it: the belief that you should never get off your horse.

I’ve been riding horses since the late ’70s. Over the decades, I’ve trained, competed, coached, and explored nearly every approach to horsemanship, from traditional riding schools to natural horsemanship pioneers like Pat Parelli and Monty Roberts. And one of the biggest and most dangerous myths that still exists in tradition today?

That getting off your horse is a sign of weakness.

Spoiler alert: it’s not.

MY WAKE-UP CALL WITH MIA

Years ago, with my late and very big Irish Sport Horse named Mia I learned the hard way. She was 800+ kilos of muscle, stunning but also a challenge. I loved her to bits, but she overwhelmed me, and our relationship began to deteriorate.

I turned to natural horsemanship, desperate for a better connection. And what I discovered changed my life. Within just a few weeks of learning new techniques, shifting my mindset, and truly listening, Mia began to soften. But it wasn’t her who changed, it was me.

Like to know one of the most important shifts I made?

Learning that if my horse is stressed, scared, or losing confidence, I was allowed, encouraged, even - to get off.

SAFETY IS NOT FAILURE

I’ve seen too many riders (myself included) stay on because someone told them, “You have to show them who’s boss,” or “If you get off, the horse wins.”

What a load of nonsense!

If your horse is worried, your goal isn’t to dominate. It’s to communicate, regulate, and reconnect. And guess what? You can’t do that while bouncing around on top of a terrified animal.

Getting off is not failure. It’s intelligence.

BUT DON’T JUST GET OFF… BE PREPARED FOR WHAT COMES NEXT

Let’s be clear: hopping off without any groundwork skills won’t solve your problem. You need to know how to calm your horse on the ground, help them feel safe, and rebuild confidence.

That’s why I’m so passionate about teaching foundational groundwork. If you can walk, stop, back up, and bend your horse from the ground, then getting off becomes your superpower. You’re not quitting, you’re shifting the conversation to where it can be most productive.

PRACTICE YOUR BRAKES (BEFORE YOU NEED THEM)

You don’t wait to find the brake pedal until your car is flying downhill and you shouldn’t wait to teach your horse how to stop until you're galloping out of control. Every rider should know how to bend to a stop, use energy regulation, and teach the horse that softness = stillness.

In my Online Academy, I teach exactly this. We practice it slowly, gently, consistently. Because when that one scary moment comes, your horse will already know the drill and you’ll know exactly what to do.

ONE REIN. ONE MOMENT. ONE LIFE SAVED.

Forget yanking on two reins. That builds resistance. One rein used properly creates softness, bend, and a release of forward motion.

With enough practice, your horse will stop from the smallest cue. That’s not just training. That’s trust.

THE PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU NOT TO GET OFF? THEY’RE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.

If someone mocks you for dismounting or makes you feel weak for choosing safety, they’re not part of your team. My advice? Don’t ride with them. Don’t even take advice from them.

Good horsemanship is built on observation, awareness, timing and humility.

YOUR HORSE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS WHAT YOU KNOW

That’s the truth. If you don’t know how to stop, if you don’t know how to get calm, if you don’t know how to listen, it’s not your horse’s fault. But it can change. You can learn these skills. And your horse will thank you.

In my world, we prepare for emergencies by practising as much as possible. And then we hope we never need to use it, but if we do, we’re ready.

YOUR NEXT STEP

Inside my Online Training Academy, I teach you everything you need to build confidence both on the ground and in the saddle. You’ll learn how to create an emergency stop that actually works, and how to trust yourself again.

Because horse training isn’t about ego, it’s about building useful skills, connection, and trust, one ride at a time.

Join us where if you decide it's not for you, just cancel 3 days before your next payment is due.
It’s simple, accessible, and perfect for equestrian’s who care deeply about their horse’s experience.

🌐 Learn with me from today HERE
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Thanks for reading and as always, keep getting good with horses. 🐴